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A Waste Of

HI! Hi hi.

I just want to bitch a little bit about today's choices so far.

I skipped breakfast but ate some Swedish fish I bought a couple days ago. They weren't even that good, to be honest.

Then... lunch. I have been pretty bad about lunch the past couple weeks, in both regards to what I am eating and how much I am spending. I think I have to set some rules after today. I ended up going to Wegmans again because I wanted more Halo Top with raspberries (more on that later). Well, I got those things but on top of that, some mac and cheese from the hot bar and two italian rolls. The rolls were the least of my problems – 130 cals and like 60 cents each or something. Add up the rest of it, though? Lunch added up to over $18.00, which is STUPID. There is no other word for it. Just plain stupid. A pretty small container of hot bar mac and cheese cost over six dollars. *tsk* But also the Halo Top and package of raspberries was about $10.00 alone! Ugh. And now I am full and while I have a decent amount of calories in my day, I feel shitty about lunch and overly full and just yuck about the whole thing. Out of control. Helpless.

A note about Halo Top: Well, they say it about themselves, too – let that sucker sit on your counter for a while so it melts a bit. THEN it tastes pretty darned good. Today I had the strawberry flavor, which was fine. You know why I like Halo Top, though? I see it as a vehicle. A creamy, ice creamy vehicle for other stuff like fresh berries. So what I do is let mine melt a bit and then I start dropping in raspberries, one berry at a time, and mix it in. Then the amazing happens. It tastes really good and it is really filling. I don't know why I thought I should also have hot bar or even rolls. The rolls were super fresh and tasty, though. The mac and cheese was OK, but not six + dollars OK.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Well, we have our plans for the days leading up to Thanksgiving, food-wise. I'm making a big batch of burritos that will feed us for at least tonight, tomorrow, and maybe into the next day. I make a pot of doctored up black beans and just fry up some ground beef with taco seasoning, pretty simple. It's not the super healthiest meal as we tend load up the cheese and sour cream on 'em, but they are easy and filling, which is fine for my busy week ahead. On Wednesday, I'm working at home and also going to be picking up the farm-raised turkey; my partner is coming along for the long drive so we decided to just get something while we're out. Done and done. It's nice not to have to worry about stuff.

(I did finally roast a head of cauliflower I had from weeks ago, though! I cut off the black spots and drizzled it with olive oil and salt and pepper. It was yummy, and I should have brought it for lunch today.)

I haven't run since Election Day. Last night I had a dream about running a 5K, which I will be doing in the early part of December... in the dream I ran just fine but got snagged in a restroom. I couldn't go even though I really had to. Well, I plan to get a 5K something in on Thanksgiving day as my personal Turkey Trot, something I skipped doing last year and regret to this day. I also want to see where I stand as far my capabilities... can I even still do it? I'm going to have to finish no matter how I execute it.

Anyway... lots on my mind. I'm still hovering around 300 pounds, more than 30 pounds more than what I weighed a year ago. That makes me mad and disappointed. Talk about a waste of, right?

I want this coming year to be a losing year, not a gaining year like 2016 was.

I just discovered Casey Neistat today following the announcement of his quitting his daily vlog. I'd never heard of this guy before, and ended up getting sucked into watching several YouTube posts. There's a lot to like about him and I will be following what he does next for sure, but one thing I took away in one his episodes was that the only thing standing between YOU and ALL THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO IN LIFE is DOING IT. It is such a simple concept which now seems obvious to me, but I think it's something that can really serve me well in the coming months. How do I get the things I want for myself? I do them.

I DO THEM.

And I definitely stop buying eighteen dollar lunches at the supermarket.

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