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So Fat and Stuff

I've been meaning to write here so many times since my last post, but at the same time I'm growing weary of so much tracking, documenting, sharing. Sometimes I just want to step away from the internet all together forever. Sometimes I want to step away from... everything.

My headspace has been kind of all over the place. I know what my goals are and I still feel strongly about them, but the past week or so I just haven't been there. The whole thing with my back last week threw things off a bit, maybe – did I mention that? I ended up taking the entire week off. Monday and Tuesday were sick days (Monday I felt kind of crappy and Tuesday is when my back started on its thing). At that point, I thought why not take a whole week? I had the time and the workload at the office seemed OK. So, I checked in with the appropriate people and just did it.

Well, it was a good thing I did! On Wednesday I did a work-at-home morning to tie up some loose ends, and then took half a personal day. Thursday and Friday were vacation days. It turns out my back was a big problem for most of the week, even into the weekend. It wasn't until Sunday that I started feeling pretty normal again, and I've been OK since, until I woke up this morning and felt another twinge of something. I'm OK enough, though.

So that whole thing threw me off. It's no fun to be in pain, and not being able to do stuff got me down. I did still manage to squeeze in walks – usually later in the day my back would feel good enough to do at least that – but we didn't play tennis for over a week. I was feeling depressed and just down and defeated about several aspects of my life that I won't go into here, but including the whole weight loss thing.

I had also given up on the 30 days of running, because MY BACK. However, I did continue doing walks last week. The result is that there hasn't been one day that I haven't had some sort of activity. See?

Click to enlarge! Sport = tennis, of course.

So that, I am very proud of and will continue to do this until... well, as long as I can, I suppose. 

I haven't weighed myself since July 13th! I'm scared to, honestly. If I had to guess, I'm probably in the 290s. That sucks. 

I don't know. I guess I am going to try to accept that I will have good times, easy times, hard times, bad times. This too shall pass, blah blah blah. 

Just so you know. I'm not giving up.

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