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Determined

Yes, I am. Determined!

Today was:

• Checking on the gardens the morning after rain finally fell! The plants looked so happy. It was lovely to see. We've got a gorgeous veggie garden this year and of course I have my flower beds, too. It's been such a dry summer so getting any rain is just about exciting.

• Doctor's appointment – the "lady" doc (mine IS a lady, she's awesome!) for my annual exam. "You're perfect!" she told me. Hooray! (Though, just to note: My BP was up into the 130s (!) for some weird reason. On the kind of plus side, I lost about a pound since a year ago when I saw her last. Neat.)

• Planting some more stuff – marigolds among the veggies and a few other things going in the perennial beds. I did this for over an hour until my partner came out to check on me, because as usual I ended up being out there longer than I planned. Gardening just makes me always do more and lose track of time. I love it!

• Leftovers for our big meal of the day, lunch. I was off in the morning and did a work at home in the afternoon, so we had spaghetti again. It was yummy and very satisfying, and I didn't overdo it on the portions.

• Some graphic design in the afternoon for my job.

• Drinking 21 eight ounce glasses of water (!!).

• ... and sweating a lot of it out during one hour of tennis in temps almost pushing 90. Honestly, it was probably the least enjoyable bout we've had (tired, hot, grumpy and sensitive b/c I'm PMSing I guess), but I was still glad we got out there and did it. It was probably some of my worst playing in a while, but I also had some notable moments. It's always worth it.

Oh! And also I got to wear one of new tennis skirts, and I loved it. It's by New Balance, it's black, it's got pleats, and it makes me feel like a tennis pro, LOL. Sorry, no photos. I haven't been into it.

• Despite my foul-ish mood today (no good reason for it at all), I relished the day and got to do lots of nice things.

Just one more day before my big challenge weigh-in on Wednesday! I think I have a really good shot at it at this point. But I tell you what, I am also looking forward to what I get to do beyond that, too.

It's so funny how my mindset has shifted so dramatically in this past week. The switch is back on, I guess, and I am ridiculously happy about it. What is happening is that I am choosing whether to eat more food, or whether I want to continue losing weight. So, I see something like donuts, or candy, or whatever, and instead of instant craving or feeling bad that I can't have it, I think, Well, that stuff will be there another day, but today is not the day for that. I'd rather make more progress. Because of that choice, I don't feel deprived or upset that I'm not stuffing my face; in fact, I'm much happier that I am not. Ah, if only I can hold onto this feeling for, like... forever!

And look, it's not like I will never eat that stuff again, of course not. But for now, my desire to lose more weight way surpasses my desire for any given extra food I might have eaten at another time. I just want to do this. I want to stop messing around.

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